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June 1, 2010

The Old Switcheroo

I would imagine this holds with all kids, but in particular with twins, the parenting books stress that you shouldn’t compare, and further, you shouldn’t label your children. Saying things like, “Baby A is the dominant one,” or “Baby B is more social” could have obvious psychological effects on both babies.

I can’t help but feel that the girls don’t trust me with their psychological wellbeing. Why else would they see fit to “switch” personalities – willy-nilly – so that there’s no way I could possibly label them, at least not for long?

In the womb, Baby A was very laid-back…to the point that I would sometimes lie down on my right side for a few minutes just to feel her move a little bit. In contrast, Baby B was the one doing complex gymnastic maneuvers at all hours. Baby A was born first, but I think it was only because B had carved out such a large space for herself, thus squishing A to the far bottom corner.

For the first few months, A continued to be very laid-back, while B refused to go unnoticed. I thought it was amazing how their behavior in utero had been so indicative of what I thought were their personalities.

But then Baby A decided to get in on the action. She became the one taking toys from her sister, while Baby B seemed to relish her turn to chill out for a while.

Baby A reached most of the early physical developmental milestones first…rolling over, sitting up, standing, and walking. But then B decided she would climb up on the couch, lest A think she was more agile. (Maybe a throw-back to the womb-time gymnastic exercises?)

And then, just for the fun of it, both girls said their first word – the same first word, “baby” – on the same day.

In social situations, the girls are a revolving door. One week, Baby A will be full of smiles for new people; the next, Baby B is the life of the party while her sister shrieks in horror if someone accidentally looks her way. Understandably, it makes our friends and neighbors apprehensive about approaching the girls’ stroller before checking in to see who’s “accepting visitors” on that particular day.

And so, in answer to TwinHappy’s question about birth order affecting personality, I just have to say I don’t know…and I am inclined to think that’s part of the girls’ master plan.

And as to which one of them cooked up the plan, well, I don’t know that, either. And I think that’s just the way they like it.

8 comments:

Sarah said...

very funny and clever post!! i remember when my girls were this age...very fun! they are almost 3 now and ornery as ever. :)

*new follower!

Megan said...

My twins are totally the same way - it's impossible to label them b/c they keep switching it up on me.

Now if only I could get them to be in good moods on the same day, that would be something...

Mohini said...

Totally agree! When I was pregnant I showed up at the hospital twice because I could not feel baby A move. Well, baby A started hopping like a rabbit before she was a year old - baby B still cannot even jump.

Dakotapam said...

How funny! Thanks for stopping by! I have a feeling my girls are going to change things up to keep me hopping as well!

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Oh, yes! I was thrown for a loop when my girls did this for the first time. I am used to it now and I notch it up to my girls "wanting to keep us on our toes!" Twins are so much fun!

Joyeful said...

Oh I remember this so well!!! They really threw me for some loops!! But now they have reverted back to what I guessed they would be in utero! My girl is older by 30 minutes and she is laid back, easy to please, eager to help. My boy is all boy! Full of energy and loves people!

Sonora said...

The whole time I read this post I was nodding my head in agreement. This is so how it has been for us too. The way they were in the womb was how they were at first, but then it is like they switch every few weeks. I swear it really is some sort of master plan. Then they will do something "identical" to keep me on my toes. The weirdest thing right now is they are cutting the exact same teeth at the exact same time.

The Mommy said...

I can totally relate to what you are saying. my boys are the same way, I mean the SAME WAY. If I try to predict one's personality they will switch the other week. Gosh, God bless twins, raising them is just something else!
Congratulations on your award. You truly deserve it:)