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January 5, 2012

Third Birthday Emotions

The girls remarked a couple of days ago about a snapshot we have in our kitchen, of Hubby and me in Central Park. “Where was I?” they asked.

“That was before you were born.”

But where was I?” they prodded, clearly not understanding that concept. “Was I in your tummy?

I tried explaining, but I finally told them, “You were in my heart.

Truer words could not be spoken.

On the girls’ first birthday, I was overcome with emotion. Joy, yes…and relief…and…sadness. I’m not sure I could have pinpointed it at the time, but I was sad. I was sad that the first year had passed so quickly, sad that I hadn’t enjoyed it as much as I would have liked.

The girls’ second birthday was mostly a happy day for me, but I still shed some tears. It was during that year that my babies turned into children…and that was a lot to process.

As I write this, on the eve of the girls’ third birthday, my heart feels pure and happy. I can’t promise I won’t cry at all tomorrow, but my tears will certainly be ones of joy and thankfulness.

I just feel “settled”. Complete. I’m secure as a mom, and we are as a family. This past year has been full of so many wonderful adventures, and – while time does seem to pass so quickly as it is – I can’t help but look forward to the adventures to come.

So yes, my girls were in my heart long before they were in my tummy, but I somehow feel like this role has been “me” for a long, long time. And it feels good. And I am full of joy.

Happy birthday, Baby A! Happy birthday, Baby B!

I’m looking forward to celebrating you tomorrow…and for the many, many years to come.

I am so thankful to be your mommy.

15 comments:

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I'm glad it made you smile :)

I wanted to surprise you!

and your post made me get a little sad for the non-babyness that is happening with all our babies.

Deanna said once they will be her babies til they're 12!

Love the "you were in my heart"

Oh BLESS!

championm2000 said...

What a sweet reflection!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, A & B!!

Carrie said...

Very sweet! Happy Birthday A & B!

Deanna said...

Love this post! While it's fun to celebrate the milestones of our babies getting bigger, it's also times like this that make you realize just how fast the time is passing, right?

Happy Birthday to A & B! I hope 3 is fabulous!

Wiley said...

Happy Birthday girls!! And may you keep appreciating living in the moment!

Brad Jenkins said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julia said...

So, Brad didn't write this, I did. Oops! :)

Happy birthday A & B!

Mothering certainly is more than just a job, isn't it? It's a calling, and when we embrace that, and pour ourselves into it, into our children---it's such a beautiful thing!

You do such a lovely job of that, and chronicle your adventures with such grace.

Happy day to you too, Miss Mandy!

Cuz I'm the mama! said...

Happiest birthday wishes mama and girls!! I hope you are having a very special day. You always have such fun plans so I am sure you are!! I am on par with how you reacted to each of their bdays ... I'm hoping I feel the same peace when they turn 3 this year. It goes so fast...but we can't stop time so it's best to try and enjoy each season. You seem to be doing a great job with that!! My pregnancy has hampered some of my drive to be in the moment ... but hopefully we can get back on track after this new babe is born. Have a GREAT day!!

Quadmama said...

Happy birthday! Every year I get a little emotional, but now it's more out of happiness. (I loved the opening when they're asking you about the picture. My daughters used to ask why they weren't in any of our wedding pictures. One of the girls even asked "Oh, did you have grandma watch us that day?")

Miss Megan said...

Happy Birthday Baby A and Baby B!!! It's amazing that you feel so complete, so full of joy! How wonderful that must feel!!!

Helene said...

The tears can't be helped...each milestone is so bittersweet.

Happy 3rd birthday to your baby girls!

reanbean said...

I hope you all had a wonderful day celebrating A and B's third birthday! I'm sure you're in for many amazing adventures in the year to come. Enjoy them all!

Double the Giggles said...

"You were in my heart." Goosebumps/*sniffle*. So true ;) Happy Birthday to A & B!

Barbara Manatee said...

oh my goodness...I just had the same exact conversation with my kiddos the other day - talking about an old vacation and them asking if they were born or in my belly yet...I, too, told them they were in my heart!!!

love it!

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

"Settled." What a great word to describe entering the year of the threes. I totally agree. The first two years were a blur. Twos were difficult (lots of transitions), but when you start to enter this new era, you feel good about it. Things are finally getting easier and you really really like your kids! Great post.