I came across this Henry Miller quote years ago, and it immediately struck me as something very profound.
“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.”
At the time, I was working in North Carolina, very focused on my job and my career. I tried to challenge myself not to get so caught up in the rat race (albeit a very invigorating race), such that I wasn’t really living.
At the time, I remember thinking about driving to work each day…my mind was always running far ahead of me, such that I rarely noticed anything on my drive. Not only was that physically dangerous, but it was kinda sad…even in my short commute, there were beautiful trees, a small river, and so many sights and sounds that I took virtually no note of.
As I think about inspiration for 2012, I want to revisit this quote.
I think I do a pretty good job of being aware of my girls. Heaven knows I take enough pictures and write enough journal entries…but still, there’s more.
It’s cliché, I know, but I think becoming a parent adds a new dimension to the space-time continuum. Time seems to be flying faster than ever before.
In 2012, I want to continue to strive for awareness, and for appreciation. I want to challenge myself to continuing to be purposeful in my actions…yet allow myself to appreciate and enjoy the carefree days of the girls’ early childhood.
My bigger challenge for 2012 is to be more aware of my other roles…those of wife, household CEO, and friend.
There’s no doubt in my mind that my Mommy role comes first, but I sometimes seem to run out of steam in the other areas. I know part of that is just a function of having two rambunctious babes, and I’ve come to be OK with that.
But sometimes that leaves me feeling like I’ve driven to work (or, in this case, made breakfast, lunch, and dinner, done laundry, read 53 books, orchestrated a craft project and taken the girls for a walk, documenting much of it in words and pictures) without looking up.
Where I think I can do a better job is in keeping a calendar on a daily basis. I want to write down some of my daily tasks, like pay bills, or mend blanket, so that I can have a bit of a roadmap for the day, and – at the end – a written sense of what I’ve done.
I also want to write down things that can sometimes otherwise get lost in the fray, like send birthday card to X, email Y, clean out junk drawer. It’s those little things that don’t necessarily have to happen…but I know will make me feel more rounded out if I can accomplish them on a more regular basis.
So, for 2012, across my many roles:
I aim to be more aware…to be more purposeful…so that I may enjoy my life more joyously… drunkenly…serenely…divinely…fully.
My word for 2012 = aware.
(Thank you to my sweet friend Marcia for the amazing inspiration on so many levels, including the idea of a word for the year. Visit Marcia to see how she and others are embracing the new year.)