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August 15, 2011

...and THAT Would Be an Embarrassing Injury!

I distinctly remember Baby A’s first bruise. She was about seven months old, and I noticed a big, ugly, purple bruise on the back of her calf. Like any [neurotic] mother, I called the pediatrician’s office. Of course the nurses knew me well from the [various other neurotic] calls I made on a weekly basis.

My favorite nurse assured me that a basic bruise was no big deal…and then I’m guessing she hung up the phone and told her nurse friends, “You’ve gotta hear this one!

Since that time, our girls have had their share of bumps and bruises, including three skinned knees [two of which required band-aids], and various, assorted, and sundry bruises from running into things, falling on top of things, and yes – colliding with each other.

I’ve chilled out quite a bit over the past couple of years, and I’m usually comfortable to quell my own neuroticism, leaving the pediatrician’s office to deal with actual concerns.

Since Baby A started using the potty this spring, we have had a couple of close calls, neither of which has resulted in a call to the pediatrician...and I’m really hoping I don’t have to resort to that.

I saw a report several years ago about “toilet vapors” travelling several yards with a flush, and I’ve since become an adamant Toilet Lid Closer. (Do you see where this is going?)

I opted not to reward Baby A’s potty success with candy or stickers. Instead, I made a huge deal out of flushing the toilet. And thanks to my superb salesmanship, when she finishes, she is so eager to depress that little silver handle…often WITHOUT FIRST CLOSING THE LID.

I can’t stand idly by and allow my darling daughter to be covered in “toilet vapors”, though, so I rush to close the lid.

And yes, in my haste to protect her from “the vapors”, I have bonked her on the head with the toilet lid a couple of times.

Fortunately I think those “bonks” sound a lot worse than they are, as Baby A hasn’t been phased at all…she’s just concentrated on celebrating her success with that little silver handle.

I guess I need to start marketing the fun of closing the toilet lid, too, in the hopes of avoiding a real injury. Heaven knows that a run-in with a toilet lid would make for an embarrassing call to the pediatrician!


Eric, Marilyn, and Elliott said...

And just think of all the toilet-lid cooties now on her cute little head. Blach!

Twinside Out said...

Oh this is hilarious. Especially since I also have a toilet-lid-must-be-closed-or-else phobia.

That certainly would be an embarrassing call to the doctor!!

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Beth said...

Love it! I am also a dedicated lid closer. My husband thinks I am silly for adding another step to potty training, but I always remind the kids to close the lid. The thought of all of that spraying around my bathroom absolutely makes me cringe.

A gentle bonk on the head os certainly preferable to toilet spray all over!

Andrea said...

Oh my goodness!! This is too funny!! Thanks so much for mt laugh of the day! Priceless!!

Also thanks for making me feel normal! ;-)

Barbara Manatee said...

I thought you were going to say you dropped the lid on her head or hand! Jacob has almost closed the lid on his *ahem* boy parts. Youch!!!

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

You are hysterical!!!! The flushing is a big deal here too, but they are obsessed with watching it too...there are some things I just need to let go.

Dolli-Mama said...

That's so funny! I'm glad the potty training is going so well!

reanbean said...

I can't believe you didn't go into details about the toilet vapors! My guys love to flush and watch it all go swirling down the drain before they close the lid. Guess I'll have to rely on Google for the low down on toilet vapors. Or, perhaps, I'll give my pediatrician a call. :o)