I have been considering a couple of recent pictures of Baby A and Baby B that I think could be used to make a really cute post about their personalities…
…but something about that just doesn’t sit right in my head…it actually fills me with a lot of anxiety…
I hate when people ask, “Which one is more outgoing?” Or, after seeing the girls for all of 90 seconds in the supermarket line, say, “Oh, she’s the leader of the crew, huh?” Or, “I can tell she’s the shy one.”
For one, it totally depends on the day and the situation as to how each of the girls behaves…and kinda like the weather in the south, if you don’t like it, just wait five minutes and it’ll change.
But beyond that, I feel this intense need to try to keep from labeling the girls. I can only imagine hearing that you’re the leader time and again could affect the way you think, and of course the way your sister thinks, too. Or hearing too often that your sister is more verbally gifted, or the more “physical” of the two, well I’m sure that could impact your drive.
I keep a pretty detailed journal of the girls’ comings and goings. I write down fun little adventures we had, cute things the girls did, and milestones hit.
It’s easy to record that Baby A just cut her bottom left canine tooth…there’s no interpretation in that, and no means for competition. Baby B liked the boiled okra I served for lunch, but A didn’t…no issue there, either.
These past couple of weeks, Baby B has been saying new words every single day. I know I’m not remotely keeping up with all of them, but I try to jot them down as I can. (Yesterday she said “owl” and “bees” while looking at a picture book. Oh, how my little heart melts to hear her babyspeak!)
As I recorded this in my journal, I automatically thought back to what Baby A did yesterday. I wrote down how when Daddy got home, we cleared the floor of the den and tried to get the girls to race us, crawling, across the room. Baby B didn’t get far…she rolled over in a fit of giggles as soon as she saw Mommy crawling around. Baby A was into it, though…she was a legitimate race contender, saving her giggles until she made it to the finish line. She was so cute and determined.
I would love to tell you that Baby B has the most infectious laugh…it’s just so bubbly that you can’t help but smile. But I don’t want to imply that Baby A’s laugh is not infectious, too…it’s just as precious, but different…
I KNOW I’m over-thinking all this…I KNOW it’s only natural to make comparisons, at least on some level. And I KNOW it’s unhealthy to set the girls up to think that everything is equal, and always will be…that’s not life.
I guess I’m just trying to avoid labeling the girls so as not to inadvertently steer them in a particular direction; to allow them to grow into their own, unique selves, surrounded by a loving support system, but one that’s not pushy or judgmental.
So I’m going to go ahead and post a couple of pictures of my girlies...
Baby A:
Baby B:
...and I'll confidently write a single caption:
These are the sweetest, most precious babies this mommy could ever ask for.
'Nuff said.
15 comments:
I, too, try really hard not to label. People often ask "Who's the troublemaker?" My response? "Depends on the day." They each go through good days and bad days. They each surprise me by being the "most" something when we try new things. Unfortunately, I have family members who say things like "So and So is the smartest" or "This one is going to be your athlete." I like to think they'll all be smart, talented and successful.
aaawwww, you are so sweet as are your girls!
I'm also freaky about labelling them but it's near impossible to prevent other people from doing that.
Although I will say, labels or no, they keep flipping. K was the very difficult baby and she seems to be the easier child now! I never would have thought!!!
LOL, you are so sweet to your baby girls, I doubt they will ever think your labeling them! I understand what your saying though! One day Abby is the one I "worry" about, and the next it's Alex...one day she is outgoing, the next day its like who are you??? I'm coming to realize that they are going to be different everyday until they get older and grow into their personalities.
What a truly sweet post and those beautiful eyes!! Wow!! I enjoyed taking a break in our busy day to catch up on your blog... and it put a smile on my face.
Wow! You are so right about all of this. I feel the same way, but find myself making the comments too from time to time. I don't want to set them up for anything. All in good time they will both become who God wants them to be. Great post for some food for thought!
Perfectly written post. I love the girls beautiful smiles and pretty blue eyes.
It so depends on the day at our house. While both definitely have some personality traits that are stronger than their sibling, so much depends on the circumstances of the day. But it is always funny to me when others try to peg them when we're out and about. I try not to make too much of it. I think I'm getting better at that.
Great photos! They have such sweet smiles!
What a wonderful mommy you are! And your precious girls are so beautiful!!! I love that you are being so sensitive not to "label" them. They are going to blossom under your sweet nurturing!
Your self-control constantly astounds me. I honestly think I must slip up with this all the time. Dew Drop is outgoing, the Minx is more reserved. She is neat and tidy, he is messy. I haven't honestly thought too much about the 'self-fulfilling prophesy' in these fly-away comments. I must do better! Thanks for this thoughtful (and thought provoking)post.
As I was reading this I was thinking Oh crap, I do that more often than I should. It is hard because for me, like you said, it isn't about comparing the two, I'm simply stating their personality traits and likes and dislikes but it does terrify me that I would "label" them. That doesn't seem fair. It is funny because I rarely refer to them as the twins. I say the boys, but that is no different than when I refer to my girls (who aren't twins) as the girls. So much of the time I just think of each of them as their own individual person and forget the twin part. I think it is a unique challenge to raise babies at the same time and yet appreciating their differences while not labeling...yeah, i can't even put it into words. Here's the short version, I so understand what you are saying and I think you are doing a great job of being their mom!
You're obviously very caring and supportive of your kids, so I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. People are different, even from birth -- no need to deny it!
You are so sweet and thoughtful...and this is definitely a topic that most twin moms spend a lot of time thinking about.
I try not to label mine but more bring out their individual strengths. But I do dislike when others try to label them with those same questions you mentioned, like "Oh, surely...one of them has to be the troublemaker!" Drives me crazy!!
I totally get this! I hate those questions/comments too... "So, which one is the little troublemaker?" What?! Who says that? My girls are who they are, and like you said, that can change multiple times a day.
I am not good at those introduction blurbs, even for me. I can't ever figure out a way to sum up what I want everyone to know about me (or my girls) in just a few sentences.
I'm new to your blog and very interested in what you have to say as I'm also a mom of twin girls, who just turned two this week! I hear ya on the labeling; I hate that because it depends on every scenario as it would (I think) for most people. We can't get caught up in it--my girls know I love them for exactly who they are and I'm sure your girls do, too! :)
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