I don’t remember enough from psychology class to know to
what degree humans are born with a sense of conscience. I do think it’s innate in mentally well
people, though, to varying degrees, and at varying stages of socio-emotional
development.
I do remember – and know very well from everyday experience –
that young children are motivated by what they want, when they want it. The concept of delayed gratification is not
one commonly associated with the young ‘uns.
At this young age, I think that consequences-based discipline
is the most likely to be effective. “If
you throw a toy, that toy is taken away.”
Because not every infraction follows a logical cause-and-effect
sequence, I have been employing the 1-2-3 Magic system of timeouts since the
girls were roughly three.
That system works pretty well overall. The girls know they have a couple of chances
to push buttons, but on the third strike, they earn themselves a timeout.
I like the structure of the methodology. It definitely helps keep my head in check,
and I think it reinforces to the child that it’s her behavior that results in
disciplinary action.
What’s been driving me batty lately is the girls doing silly
things…things they have known since Day 1 are off-limits…and there are times
when they do those things over and over and over again.
The best example is when they reach up on the
countertops. They have traditionally
been really respectful of that rule, but lately we have had numerous
issues. It’s so frustrating. They KNOW that is wrong. And timeout after timeout hasn’t seemed to
slow them (particularly one child whom I have deemed to have “octopus arms”).
Recently I started challenging the girls, “You are smart
girls. You know what is right, and you
know what is wrong. Do the RIGHT thing.”
When I see them start to reach for something, I’ll ask, “Are
you doing the RIGHT thing?”
I feel like this is making them think about their actions…and
I hope it is encouraging them to think beyond what they want, HERE and NOW,
regardless of the consequence.
I’m ready for the conscience thing to kick in…please!!!
1 comment:
After a rough week here, I am going to be scouring back through your previous posts on 1-2-3 to hopefully pick up some of your hard-earned wisdom!
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