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May 22, 2012

Truth in Blogging

I started this blog when my girls were a year old. 

The girls’ first year was a hard one in a lot of ways…the uncertainty of new motherhood, the exhaustion, the rollercoaster emotions…the seemingly endless cycle of feeding babies, orchestrating wake-time activities, and adhering to the rigorous nap schedule I’d set…then rinse and repeat.

Still, even at that time [save for the first couple of months, anyway], I felt a sense of balance, at least in the longer term, bigger picture…hence the name of my blog and tagline, “Thank Goodness the Triumphs Outweigh the Trials”.

While I think of myself as relatively glass-half-full, I don’t necessarily feel like a happy-go-lucky person.  I don’t speak in a perpetual singsong voice.  I don’t walk around with my head in the clouds, and I know that life is not all rainbows and butterflies.  I think my approach is one of assessment of the current situation, followed by the development of a plan of action.  (This approach was born out of my time in the business world.)

So how does this relate to my blog?

I know I tend to focus on the rosy parts of life with my baby girls.  It's just so natural, so easy to do!  They’re smart, they’re fun, they’re energetic, and I feel so incredibly blessed to be their mommy.

Still, that doesn’t mean we don’t have our “challenges”.

I know I’ve written about the poop-smeared crib I found once upon a time…about The Most Draining Week of My Life when Baby A started potty training…about avoiding phone calls because the girls decide that’s the moment to attempt to swing from the chandelier…

…and on a Mommy note, I’ve written about not bonding with the girls immediately…about Mother’s Day being bittersweet…about putting the girls in the car to go through the Starbucks drive-through, just to have them stationary in their car seats for a few minutes and give myself a little break.

Those are more memorable challenges, but I can assure you that we have challenges in some form or fashion every day.  Trust me.

I think our girls are pretty well-behaved, but they still push their boundaries.  They make messes.  They often look with their hands more than with their eyes at the grocery store.  They sometimes cry when they don’t get their way. 

And I certainly have my moments, too.  I have raised my voice more times that I want to count, I once spanked out of frustration (spanking not being part of my discipline tool box), and on several occasions I have broken down in tears, thinking, “I just need a break.

But I rarely write about those daily challenges.  

It’s not that I’m trying to paint a picture of our life that is sweeter than what it really is.  I’m not trying to suggest that our life is completely blissful.  And I certainly don’t mean to attest that I know more than any other mama about navigating parenthood, or that my girls are any sweeter / smarter / more mannerly than average.

I guess I think about the daily challenges as being just what comes with the parenting territory.  At least for me, I think I can still “keep it real” and choose to focus on the many little things that amaze me every day.

While I'm not always presenting the entire [raw, in-the-trenches] story, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.


Mandy said...

You're a REAL PERSON?! Say it ain't true.... LOL!

It's good not to dwell on the not-so-great things, you'd miss all the wonderfulness that is your ladies!!

Deanna said...

It's your blog and your focus is on all the awesome things about parenting your girls...and there is not a thing in this world wrong with that!

From a "keepin' it real" mom standpoint, though, I'm kind of glad to hear that you don't ALWAYS have it all together. : )

I agree with your sentiment that it does just pretty much come with the territory. I think the more experienced we get with this stuff, the more we realize that most things just aren't that big a deal in the long run.

Keep enjoying those good moments, and stick to YOUR story! : )

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I love this post - it is just beautiful;... and you to a T.

I read some snotty remarks on a post a while back (can't remember where). They didn't mention names but I'm 98% sure they were talking about Kelle Hampton's blog and how her life is just perfect. Well hello, as gorgeous as her pictures, clothes, are, anyone with a special needs kid is living a "challenging" life and I just thought, "can't you be happy for someone choosing to be positive?"

ANyway, I like that' you're very real behind the scenes with me and I treasure that. Not that you're not here, but it's more rosy here. And hey, your girls are just gorgeous and smart and well mannered and I can't WAIT to meet them. Seriously! (oh, and you!!! LOL)

Marcia (123 blog) said...

PS my friend Nat and I had lunch today and she said something beautiful which I've forgotten (but I've emailed her) - basically that she's not stressing even though having her two boys (18 months apart) is practically killing her - working 16 hours a week, looking after them, trying to do church stuff, house, etc. because she knows this time she has to input into them is so short. Made me think of you!

Johanna Baker said...

What? You arent perfect? I still want to hangout with you in real life someday. :)

Olusola said...

that's for keeping it real Mandy. That's what makes the good mom bloggers stand out (IMHO)

Carrie said...

Hey- it's your blog, you can write about whatever you want! I personally admire you for always focusing on the positive. That's why people read your blog!

Christina said...

So your saying you have days like me? I feel better now. :D

MultipleMum said...

You have always reminded me to look for the good bits (amongst the crazy). I like your happy perspective. It is refreshing.

Thanks for my birthday wishes. It is always lovely to feel loved from the opposite side of the world x

Julia said...


I thought of you (fondly???) the other day as my girls decided to dump out every single puzzle we own into their pirate ship A.K.A. big box. Oh my goodness what a mess! Of course, this happened a few minutes before our real estate agent was supposed to be arriving. Gah!

All that to say, I think you do a beautiful job of providing a balanced reflection of your life. But, of course, we want to chronicle the good, more than the bad, right!?!? :)

I second what Marcia said! You're so generous with me about your experiences behind the scenes, and I've learned so much from you as a mama, and a woman walking this journey of parenting twins with me. I treasure that so much, thank you, friend! :)

Anonymous said...

uhm. NO. you're perfect ;) i love that you share so much of yourself and that you give me a heads up on what is coming, what to expect, what worked or didn't for you. it's great to hear about someone who has been in the trenches...and someone who did it while keeping a 3 ring binder full of records (like me!).

love your blog. and will likely finish returning your email soon. :) xx

cat said...

While I think I may concentrate a bit more about the tough times than you ( but maybe my challenges are a bit more than yours) I totally get taking the time to concentrate on the positive.

I love your blog btw

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I had to come back to read the rest of the comments :)

I still love that you told me to hang in there with the reading (when it seemed like we were reading to ourselves) and suddenly it turned just like you said it would and we had READERS (yes, in CAPS!) on our hands :)