She listened intently, nodding her head and telling me she understood my frustration. But she didn’t have any answers for me. Maybe because I was so hopeful she’d at least have some suggestions, her “I know you’ll figure it out,” frankly felt a bit unsympathetic.
She moved on to describe a challenge she was facing, whether to let her then-nine-year old son give a Valentine’s Day card to a girl that said, “I like you.”
Her story made me laugh, and got my mind off of my woes for a few minutes, but I couldn’t help feeling it was insignificant to something so critical as providing sustenance to my children.
Several months later, I revisited that lunchtime conversation in my mind (and later laughed about it with my girlfriend). It occurred to me that she may have been ultimately saying something I’m coming to realize myself…
“It doesn’t get easier; it just gets different.”
The first couple of months after the girls were born were hands down the hardest months of my life.
I was trying so hard to figure out so many things, things I had no experience with…and times two, at that. At the time I didn’t personally know anyone who had twins, so I found myself feeling doubly alone [no pun intended].
Things started to level out a bit when the girls were about three months old and started sleeping through the night. That’s definitely when “things got easier”. I’ve since said a hundred times, I can do ANYTHING on a full night’s sleep!!!
Twenty-seven months in, I can say that often, when something gets easier, a new something rears its head as a challenge.
The girls began to take sippy cups = YEA! But they started to walk (also YEA!), but that meant I had two babies running in different directions.
The girls learned to feed themselves = YEA! But that meant I lost control of the spoon and found myself with much more mess to clean.
The girls are talking more and more = YEA! But they’re also challenging their mama’s authority from time to time.
While many things have gotten easier, it seems the challenges are often more complex…leaving me to occasionally think those newborn diaper blow-outs weren’t so bad!
Yes, it’s always something…and my guess is I’ll feel that way for the rest of the girls’ lives to some degree…
…but that’s what keeps me gainfully employed as a parent, and that’s just what I signed up for!