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October 11, 2010

Garbage Pail Tales

Monday is garbage day in our neighborhood.

As I take the girls on our daily walk, I try not to appear too obvious as I check out our neighbors’ recycle bins from behind my dark sunglasses. It’s just so hard to resist the plethora of information contained in those open plastic bins…

Wow, that’s an expensive bottle of wine!

That’s some really cheap beer…but I guess when you apparently drink a case a week, you have to economize!

Look who feeds their kids three boxes of Fruity Pebbles a week!

Somebody uses a heck of a lot of Metamucil!

I’ve written about the tales our dishwasher and washing machine could tell about our life over these past 21 months, and I just realized that the Waste Management Folks could probably construct a pretty accurate story, too…

Awww…Preemie diapers…how sweet! And lots of them! Oh, and pizza boxes…they must not be getting much sleep.

Those babies must be growing…using Newborn diapers now!

Alright…atta girls! Up to Size 1 diapers!

Hmmm…cans of formula and the sudden reappearance of Diet Coke…I’ll bet she’s not nursing anymore.

Movin’ on up…Size 2 diapers and the introduction of baby food! Coincidentally, those bags of poop aren’t smelling too sweet anymore!

Cool…that’s a really nice new stroller! This huge box must have cost a lot to ship!

Size 3 diapers…and look at all the empty gallons of milk. I’ll bet those babies just celebrated their first birthday!

Lots of empty produce cartons…eating real food now!

With all those fruits and veggies, those babies are up to Size 4 diapers. It seems like just yesterday they were born.
(sniff, sniff)

...or at least that’s how I see it.

And of course we never have anything embarrassing in our recycle bins. No, we put anything we don’t want the neighbors to see from behind their dark shades in trash bags, safely out of view.

13 comments:

Sarah said...

Haha, hilarious!! Thanks for a good laugh, it is so true!! :)

Quadmama said...

LOL! My mother-in-law refuses to recycle any type of alcoholic beverage container because she's convinced her neighbors will judge her. I, on the other hand, like to mess with people. After we had a party this summer, on recycling day I made sure all the bottles and cans were on top. I actually saw our nosy neighbor come over and look. Have to wonder what he was thinking!

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Too funny. My garbage man goes through everyone's garbage - throw away a shirt, he will try it on, throw away broken toys, he will put them in his pocket : ( EWWW!

strongblonde said...

i used to love to look at the recycle bins! we just got new ones, though, that are huge and have a lid on top. no more nosy neighbor for me! boo!

Deanna said...

How funny! Our recycling gets tied up in green bags, so you can't tell a whole lot at just a glance. Thank goodness?! : ) My family likes to 'junk' though...we can't pass up a pile of stuff on the side of the road without stopping to check it out!

MultipleMum said...

What a funny tale! You seem to be able to find a story anywhere :) I can imagine you with your shades on checking out the neighbours like a nosey Nellie!

Our recycling bin is larger than but similar to our waste bin. No-one can see what is inside, unless they open the lid. Sadly there are no little imaginings to keep us company on our neighbourhood strolls. I am a little jealous now :(

Rebecca said...

Every now and then, Husband skips a week of putting my wine bottles out in the recycling. When he finally does, I'm mortified b/c neighbors are going to think I'm an alcoholic!!! I need one with a lid...for sure!

Helene said...

Our recycling bins have lids and so thankfully our neighbors can't go through ours. But the neighborhood where my little twins go to preschool has open containers and just today I noticed someone recycling a whole bunch of boxes of diet coke. I was so tempted to write down the coke rewards numbers because there were SO many. All I need is 35 more points and we get a free ticket to the zoo!!!!

M and M Mommy said...

haha! I love this-I am a total snooper and always check out what my neighbors are doing/throwing away/having delivered/etc!

Cottongirl7 said...

So true so true. This made me think of our ups guy. When the twins were first born I was getting alot of things delivered and he was stopping at our house all the time. We got pretty friendly. Finally he asked me " I know its none of my business, but why do you need two of everything? Are you afraid of one breaking?" I laughed and opened the door a bit bigger so the girls could check him out. Now he knocks and actaully waits for me to open the door so he can say hi to the girls. :)

Sonora said...

Hahaha! That is so funny. I never really thought about how much trash could tell you about a family. Man oh man, from our house you would mostly get size four diapers from three kids.
We just have a community dumpster, so I don't know our trash guy. But our UPS guy has seen us go through an awful lot. He feels like an honorary part of the family. (My husband pretty much does all his shopping online).

Hello! I'm Kate. said...

ahahaha! This is hilarious!

I left you an award over at my place yesterday and I'm just now getting around to telling everyone about it!
http://www.mommymonologues.com/2010/10/some-awards-to-hand-out.html

reanbean said...

What a fun way to tell their growing up story. I hope our guys have noticed and appreciate the fact that we have way fewer diapers than we did that first year. :o)