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July 29, 2010

Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes, and the Green-Eyed Monster

The storied green-eyed monster, jealousy, has invaded our house.

Sure, Blue Eyes and Brown Eyes have been vying for the same toys for a long time. I remember the first time I saw them squirming towards the same rattle. They were almost 8 months old, and I thought it was so cute…I ran and grabbed my camera.

Of course that has evolved into all-too-regular (and not-so-cute) fits of screaming and crying over one coveted plaything (sometimes – unfortunately – punctuated by biting and hair pulling if Mom isn’t standing right there). I can usually diffuse the situation by reminding the girls in my “Mommy voice” to “play nicely together.” I might point the girls towards other toys altogether, or – if we have a duplicate toy available – I might help the “scorned baby” find it.

Although I grew up an only child who never had to share (just ask my husband, whose clothes were long ago relegated to the hall closet!), I know this is all just part of growing up.

What I didn’t anticipate was how jealous the girls seem to be of each other as of late.

Baby A is considerably more prolific than Baby B…meaning she gets a lot more attention in the dirty diaper department. When I go to change A’s diaper, even if B’s is perfectly clean and dry, Baby B often gets a very worried look in her sweet blue eyes. She’ll begin feverishly gesturing towards her diaper, exclaiming, “Di! Di! Di!” I will make an exaggerated check of B’s diaper to confirm it doesn’t need changing, but B often requires a little extra snuggling to return to her business.

At night when I apply a certain moisturizing cream to A’s face, I often pretend to put some on B’s face, too.

What took the cake for me, though, happened over the past several days. I had to give Baby A eye drops, three times a day, as part of the summer colds they both had. (A is more prone to tear duct blockage, while B’s eyes remained clear.) At the mere mention of the word “drops”, B would start pointing to her eye. “Eye! Eye! Eye!” Even as A was squirming and fussing, trying to avoid getting her eye drops, B was pleading for them with all her might.

Seriously??? You want eye drops???

From B’s behavior, you might not guess that both the girls get infinite hugs, kisses, shoulder rides, tickles, cuddles, books read, puppets played with, blocks stacked, and cars pushed.

I guess I didn’t realize that there was a line for diaper changes and eye drops on the scorecard.


Mohini said...

I can so relate, and also every time I do something for one he/she will point to the other and demand I do the same to them too.

rlooney said...

I know what you mean about the jealousy. My twin boys are almost 2. If one has something the other has to have it. It is amazing how sweet they are to each other and other times are so mean. One has started biting the other for toys. We are really having to work on that.

Jules said...

Isn't it crazy? We had our first pinkeye episode last week and the other one wanted eyedrops too. I have given "placebo" motrin (sad to say they both say medicine really well!) but a fake eyedrop? Now they're both addicted to hand sanitizer.

reanbean said...

My guys have very few toys that specifically belong to one or the other, so we have our fair share of squabbling over toys from time to time as well. Sometimes they'll request that I set the timer to keep track of who's turn it is (this idea came from comments at this post-, and once the timer is set, the other one usually will wait fairly patiently until it is his/her turn.

April said...

hmmm...i have noticed this in my 10 month olds already, too. i was wondering when it would hit. they definitely pay attention to how much time we spend with them and you can't kiss one's stomach without kissing the other one's! it's most pronounced when B is playing with them on the floor. They both want to be there soooo bad. The nice thing is that one will wait patiently while he does whatever fun "dad" thing he's doing until it is their turn, then the other will wait patiently. i'm hoping that patient part lasts forever :)

Jennie said...

I just found your blog, and I am loving reading about your adventures! I only have little guy, and he keeps me busy enough... I am totally intrigued and impressed by you guys who have twins!

MultipleMum said...

You sound like you are handling the visits from the green-eyed monster very well! It is unavoidable with siblings, whether they are twins or not.

We have a first in, first served rule, but if someone else fancies a toy that someone else is playing with then they get 'five more minutes until time to share'. It usually works okay. I haven't tried a timer like reanbean suggested, perhaps the microwave timer could be the go though?