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June 28, 2015

A Singular Party Invitation and a Case of Mistaken Identity

Wow…that’s a title straight out of a mystery book, huh?  The story I’m about to recount wasn’t a mystery, exactly, but it’s a milestone of sorts that I don’t want to forget.

This spring, Baby A got an invitation to her friend R’s party.  R and A were in the same class.  While Baby B knew R, they didn’t share classes together.  B was not invited.  Baby A wanted to go, and B was tearful.  “That’s not fair, Mommy!  I want to go!”  Hubby weighed in on the situation, saying I should call R’s mom and ask if B could come.

Having read about this conundrum from other twin mamas, I had decided I wouldn’t take that approach.  I’m certain R’s mom would have been fine to add B to the invite list, but I wanted A to have her special time with her friend.  B quickly conceded when I told her she could do something super-special with Daddy while A and I went to the party.

A week or so ago, an invitation came in the mail for B.  Baby A had a moment of sadness when she realized she wasn’t invited, but I reminded her of R’s party…and the super-special time she’d have with Daddy.

The girls have gotten a little wistful when one got to pick out a gift and the other didn’t get to weigh in.  And the goody bag given at both parties caused the non-party-goer to be maybe a tiny bit jealous.  But two parties down (one for each kiddo, THANK GOODNESS!!!), and I feel like this is the right approach for us.

At the party I attended with B, there was another funny twist.  The kindergarten classes weren’t aligned in a straightforward fashion.  There were homerooms, and then kids could have different teachers for reading and/or math.  Baby A is friends with K, from her homeroom class.  Baby B didn’t have classes with K.  But when we got to the party, we saw K (who I’m guessing had reading or math with the birthday girl).  [Clear as mud, right???]

I know K’s dad from seeing him at other events, so I started chatting with him.  We were probably 45 minutes into the party when he said, “Wait……..do you have twins???”  Yes, I told him.  That’s B, and A is at home.

And A was in K’s class, right???”  Yes.  I pulled out a picture to show him the girls together.

OHHHH!!!” he exclaimed.  “I wondered why B wasn’t talking more with K!  K and A are usually so chatty!

Hahahaha!!!  It hadn’t even occurred to me to mention the difference to him.  Our first case of “mistaken identity” (which I didn’t know to expect with my fraternal girlies), in the books!

(And if I thought Baby A was wistful at not going to the party, hearing her friend K was there was really tough for A to swallow.  I’ve gotta plan a playdate to catch up with K.  The girls will both enjoy it…and maybe K’s parents will recognize firsthand we have two kiddos.  HA!)

5 comments:

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I'm so glad you took this approach - it works for us because life isn't all even stevens :)

PS thanks for your comment. It's just such a schlep with loadshedding in "prime" blogging time for me and honestly, it really feels mostly that no-one cares so why bother? Also, most days my eyes are really, really sore from emails, spreadsheets, etc. the whole day!

PPS 3 days to holiday!

cat said...

You are without a doubt taking the correct approach . We do the same too and we have it all the time as the boys are in two grades - and it is not even questioned any more. From time to time we do get someone that invites both boys but then it is often someone we have seen outside of school socially too.

Mrs FF said...

The babies are growing and it's a good lesson to learn that won't always share everything. I'm sure next time there's a singular invite it would be easier to deal with

orana velarde said...

My twin sisters went everywhere together when they were little, maybe because their school was so small that it was a known fact that there were two. I myself confused them for a long time. Now they have different qualities which makes them unique and I think that´s important. Having your daughters do things separately is also good for them I think. Keep enjoying the twin ride, look forward to reading more adventures.
#twinklytuesday

Mummascribbles said...

I definitely think you are doing the right thing by having them go to different events. Whilst I am sure being twins is a wonderful wonderful thing, I think it's important for anyone to have their own independence and friends. Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

 
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