I have heard Marcia, along with a handful of other friends, talk about the “Five Love Languages” concept for the past couple of years. I can name the five languages, and I have a basic understanding of the theory behind it, but I’ve never read the book.
A few months ago, Marcia blogged about “The Five LoveLanguages of Children”. I made a mental note of the book, but I didn’t rush out to buy it, again thinking I understood the basic concept already.
Over the past few weeks, though, I’ve had a few experiences that made me question if there was more I could learn about how to really speak to my girls’ needs.
We were visiting family over the Christmas holidays. We had had a full morning…leaving my dad’s house early to meet my BFF and her wee one for pastries…then driving to GG’s house, where we were met with lots and lots of open arms and a huge spread of presents. I knew it had the potential to be “sensory overload” for the girls…but that’s part of the holidays, right?
Everyone was doing pretty well, until we sat down to eat lunch. I tried to get the girls to eat in the dining room together, but Baby B really wanted to sit with me in the kitchen. No problem, right? But that somehow seemed to be a tipping point for her. When we sat down at the table, her chin started to quiver, her eyes welled up, and she started to sniffle. She just couldn’t pull herself together. I picked her up and took her into a back bedroom. She was clinging to me and repeating, over and over, “I love you, Mommy…I love you, Mommy…I love you, Mommy.”
She eventually calmed down after we had some one-on-one time together, but that exchange just broke my heart.
A couple of weeks later, we had our twin friends M&C over for a few hours while their mom was at an appointment. The kids all played beautifully together…at first, anyway. At some point there were three kids playing beautifully together, while B was getting into mischief.
She’s not usually a mischievous kid, but I felt very clearly like it was a plea for attention.
I can cite a couple of different examples with Baby A, where I just knew there was something deeper at play.
I bought “The Five Love Languages for Children” book, and I started reading it yesterday. I’m only a couple of chapters in, so I can’t say I’ve had any light bulb moments just yet, but I’ve got to believe there’s something to the theory…that there’s something I can do to better address my girls’ needs, especially in new and different situations.
To be continued. :)