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March 29, 2011

I'm THAT Kind of Twin Mama...[gulp!]

…and I didn’t even realize it!

One of the more common questions we twin moms get is, “Do you dress them alike?

My preferred way to dress the girls is in coordinating outfits…the same dress, for example, but one is pink and one is purple.

We do have quite a few duplicate outfits, but many of those are gifts, and some of them I’ve bought for pictures or special occasions.

(With our girls being “very fraternal", as I like to say, I don’t feel so much pressure to dress them differently. There’s no mistaking that one has blue eyes and blonde hair, and one has brown eyes and brown hair…so if they have on the same outfit, there’s still a big difference in their overall appearance.)

When the girls are at home, they are very rarely dressed alike. At least to date (before I implement my hobos-be-gone approach to the girls’ spring / summer wardrobe), they wear some kind of knit shirt and some knit pants…most likely whatever tops the bin in the closet.

If I had characterized myself, I would have said that I was a go-with-the-flow mama, one who didn’t “overemphasize” the girls’ twinhood.


I painstakingly cleaned out the girls’ closet a couple of weeks ago to participate in a large consignment sale. I decided to check out the consignor’s only pre-sale late last week.

I went through the racks of clothes and saw so many adorable clothes…but I left empty-handed.


Of course there weren’t any matching outfits to be had, and I found myself…paralyzed.

If I bought this adorable sundress for Baby A, would Baby B look just as “dressed” in this bubble suit? If I got this smocked dress with Baby B in mind, what would Baby A wear?

I really don’t think I was so challenged by the lack of “coordination”, but by the wearing occasion and the “dressiness” of the outfits I was considering.

In any case, I was really surprised by my reaction. I wouldn’t have pegged myself for a matchy-matchy mama…but maybe I am, at least in some respects.

I know this “issue” is a short-lived one. It won’t be long before the girls are choosing their own clothes and developing their own unique style…and I promise to try reeeeally hard not to let that paralyze me.


Deanna said...

Oh my gosh, I know EXACTLY what you mean!! If I see one outfit I really love, I wonder what I can put on the other child that I love equally and is the same scale of "dressiness". I buy a lot of play clothes and casual clothes at yard sales, etc. when I just find one of a kind, but for dressier/nicer outfits, I tend to stick to clearance sales or hand-me-downs from other twin mamas who have two to coordinate!

I am glad to hear someone else thinks this way. When I was younger, I did very strange things like using all the crayons equally so none were "left out". If I twirled my hair through one finger, I had to do it equally through all the others (OCD much?). I thought my "equality in clothing" way of thinking might be an offshoot of thanks for making me feel a little more normal! : )

Carrie said...

I do the same thing with my girls, coordinating outfits versus the same. When I'm shopping if there is a really cute outfit and nothing coordinating I get really frustrated! I think I'm going to have a hard time when the girls decide they want to pick out their own clothes...I love when they coordinate!!

James said...

We got off even easier. With boy/girl twins the thought doesn't even cross my mind. I have to remind myself that we have twins at all.

Mandy said...

That is soooooo me!!

We are always doing coordinating outfits. I can't buy just one outfit, it's impossible. DH just shakes his head at me, it's never really been an issue. Just takes some looking. I have lowered my standards just a smidge but I don't think I will ever break myself of it.

Beth said...

Yes! I feel the exact same! Even while I was pregnant, I didn't really think that I would match or coordinate much. Well, the girls are almost never dressed completely differently. It's like you said, I can't put one girl in a dress and one in shorts. Or, often I have a clear preference between outfits. Is it fair for me to put one girl in the cuter outfit and make the other or others wear just okay outfits? It gets complicated. I never expected to find myself worrying about this so much, but it does make shopping difficult. I like to put them in the same outfit, just different colors (like you mentioned), but often manufacturers will make them in only two colors or patterns. That third one gets tricky!
When I leave a store frustrated, I remind myself that if my biggest problem is having difficulty finding sweet matching outfits for my wonderful healthy children, we're doing just fine.

Andrea said...

This bought back a memory of mine....I have this friend that always dresses to the "T", so of coarse her daughter did too! She offered all her daughters clothing to me (she was done having kids) for Molly. I turned her down because I would have to find coordinating outfits for Luke! Craziness, know that I think back. What person in their right mind wouldn't have jumped on that!

Anyways, it is probably different with B/G twins, but I have gotten over the having to coordinate every single day. I used to coordinate their pajama's for
crying out load! I still have to coordinate outfits for pictures of coarse! I am sure that will change the older they get, but for the time being I am holding on to it!

Andrea said...

btw- very sweet picture if the girls!!!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

VERY cute babies you have there!

Of course this never even crosses my mind except when I know we'll be taking pics and then I try to dress them in NON-CLASHING colours (see how easy I am :)).

Now and again I do matching colours - like I think on Friday they'll both be wearing red t-shirts. I set out their clothes for 6 days at a time so don't think I'm weird with the Friday reference.

Olusola said...

I know what you mean. My girls are very fratenal as well but I still like to dress them up "equal" but different. Thanks for stoppong by my blog

Dolli-Mama said...

I have totally been there, standing in the middle of a consignment sale unable to buy anything because non of it matched! The last one I went to I left with mostly toys and onesies or pajamas. You aren't the only one!

Megan said...

I would totally do the same thing if I had girl twins. Oh, the fun I could have with all those girly clothes!!! Boy clothes are no fun, even when you match them.

Cottongirl7 said...

It's kinda funny, my girls look so much alike, (at least to everyone else, and to me from the back) that I tend to dress them different. Once in a while we might get the same outfits for their birthday from someone, but I hardly ever by 2 of something unless its a really good deal. I also do a lot of second hand shopping though and that tends to make it easier. There is usually only one of a kinds there. I also think that deep down I'm a bit worried about them being able to find their own identities down the road due to the whole looking alike thing and think I compensate by letting them dress differently. I try to let them choose what they want to wear as much as possible and they hardly ever choose the same style. Maybe I'm too worried about making them seem different to everyone else because most people can't tell them apart on a regular basis. Who knows. :)

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

You poor's hard to see the truth, isn't it? I only coordinated their outfits for the first year. It's a lot harder to find matching b/g outfits out there. When it comes to a big event, we try really hard to coordinate, but these opinions that they're forming make it really hard to do what I want!!!

Julia said...

I struggle with this big time! My girls are very fraternal too :)

Brynne has green eyes and Hadley has blue. Brynne has been called a boy many times, mostly I think, because I dress her in greens and browns---because those colors go so well with her eyes. BUT--I HATE when she gets called a boy. I often dress Hadley in blue and pink, because those go well with her eyes and hair color.

I love when we have coordinating outfits--takes the agonizing over make sure everything is equal! I, too, struggle with not wanting one of them to be "more dressed up" than the other. But, I do find myself tending to be intentional about making sure that Brynne is in the "girlier" of the two outfits if we go out in public. Clearly, from my post, you see that doesn't matter sometimes :)

Jill said...

I hear ya! I'm somewhat surprised how "matchy" I am with my girls (also very fraternal but people don't take the time to realize how different they look!)...but it's honestly easier! Coordinating is my fave but duplicate is okay because it eliminates any argument over who's wearing what. And sometimes I talk myself into a less cute coordinating shirt when I should really just buy two of the adorable one! And yes, non-twin consignment sales are useless to me because I spend tons of time racking my brain trying to figure out the coordinating outfit to one item. In a little while, I'll have no say and let it go but until then...I'll enjoy it!

Johanna said...

Obviously, you are NOT alone on this issue! My girls now CHOOSE to coordinate or match... probably because I've foisted it on them for nearly three years. I have always had the same reasoning as you... not wanting one twin to accidentally look 'cuter' or more put together than the other. If they have the same outfit (even in different colors), they can't look back and say "why was I wearing the ugly outfit in pictures?" Plus it is just easier to grab two of something, right?

Annette said...

I have boy/girl twins, so dressing them alike would be a little odd, but I will admit that I am a complete sucker for the matchy-matchy outfits. I know the time will come when they want absolutely nothing to do with it, so I enjoy it while I can.

I popped in through the M&M blog link up.

Barbara Manatee said...

Catching up on old posts I hadn't read yet!

I can totally understand! I loved coordinating J&S when they were younger. But now that they are older, its really hard to find boy/girl coordinating clothes - let alone they AGREE with me on what to wear! ha! (Sarah is quite opinionated on her clothes!) Jacob will wear just about anything and Adam doesn't have much of an opinion yet so if I can't match J&S, then I'll coordinate/match the boys instead ;-)

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