…but it’s an inkling of a start!
Ever since the girls became proficient in their mobility, I’ve involved them in cleaning up their play area. At first it was me picking up most all of the toys, and escorting the girls to the toy bin with one or two pieces during the process.
That evolved into me be being able to direct them to pick up one specific piece at a time. I could say, “Pick up the red block and put it in the bin,” and they would usually comply. That didn’t translate directly into them then picking up the blue block, and the yellow one…I would have to call those pieces out by name…often stating my direction over and over, lest they get distracted by the illustrious purple block on their way.
Eventually, I moved to telling Baby A to gather all the books, for example; and Baby B to pick up all the dolls.
Each of these stages took a lot of time, patience, and perseverance on my part, including a gazillion reminders along the way. While there were times it was tempting just to pick things up myself, I always try to allow for time to involve the girls at an age-appropriate level.
Over the past week, I’ve noticed a big change in the girls’ understanding, willingness, and attention span when it comes to cleaning up.
Often after supper they ask to play with their cars. (They still play with these ride-on / push cars that their legs have long-since outgrown…but they love them!) I’ll tell them they can play with their cars when the den is clean (which has always been the rule), and they’ll start scurrying around!
Baby A is our speedster…last night she quickly put all the building blocks into their bin, and then stacked all the books together. In the meantime, Baby B was gathering the dolls and stuffed animals. They did both of those tasks without any suggestions from me…they probably cleaned 60% of the den before I had to remind them to continue. I went over to direct them in putting away all the pieces to their kitchen (which can be a little tedious), and they did an amazing job!
I don’t mean to suggest I think I’m on Easy Street from here on out. If there’s any truth to “paying for your raising”, there will probably be quite a few arguments over the girls cleaning their rooms and doing their chores…
...but I like to think we’re establishing good habits.
And now if I can just work them up to unloading the dishwasher – the bane of my existence, remember? – I’ll have it made.
Bwahahaha!!!
Ticker
May 10, 2011
May 7, 2011
It's a Twin Thing...
Even though I'm not juggling two newborns anymore, there are times when the "twin thing" can still be hard...
...potty training...nap schedules...zipping into the post office...
...but much more often I'm reminded how truly special it is to have TWO precious babes going through the same developmental stages together.
A few days ago I was at the sink, when I heard Baby A say, "Here you go, Sissy!" I turned around to find her feeding her sister the last couple of bites of her oatmeal.
I don't normally allow many shenanigans at the breakfast table, but I couldn't resist grabbing my camera.
...potty training...nap schedules...zipping into the post office...
...but much more often I'm reminded how truly special it is to have TWO precious babes going through the same developmental stages together.
A few days ago I was at the sink, when I heard Baby A say, "Here you go, Sissy!" I turned around to find her feeding her sister the last couple of bites of her oatmeal.
I don't normally allow many shenanigans at the breakfast table, but I couldn't resist grabbing my camera.
I love how Baby A is concentrating so hard to feed her sis!
...just another example of how cool that "twin thing" is!!!
May 6, 2011
Fab 5 Friday...and ME!!!
Another fabulous week at A&B Enterprises!
1) The girls’ sense of humor is really starting to shine. I called Baby B out on her (very serious) “thinking face”, and Baby A started trying to make a similar face. Not only was it hilarious how she contorted her mouth, but she knew she was being funny...and milked it for all it was worth!
2) While we were in the car one afternoon this week, Baby A asked to sing “Baa, Baa Black Sheep.” I told them we should sing it together…and everyone chimed in…to an almost-identifiable tune! The girls have known the words to that song for months, as they like to say it in nursery rhyme format, but this was the best “trio” I’ve heard to date!
3) On a related note, the girls have told me a couple of times, “I love Mommy to sing.” I don’t think I’ve EVER been complimented on my singing before…but I will take it!!! Although it does make me worry a bit if they’re showing early signs of tone-deafness???
4) This is not exactly mannerly, but when Baby B is really enjoying something she’s eating, she’s started making this “Mmmmm…mmmmm…mmmmm” noise. We’ll probably have to break the habit at some point, but for now I’m just enjoying her enjoyment.
5) Thursday we had The Perfect Afternoon. I needed to run a quick errand downtown. I put the girls in their stroller, we took care of our business, and I promptly headed to the coffee shop. I bought a kiddie scoop of ice cream (which is still huge!), and we headed to the fountain to share it. The weather was perfect…65 degrees, sunny, and no wind. The girls were tickled to see the fountain running after it had been turned off for the winter. We got to see people walking their dogs, and even a guy with a cockatiel (???), which they thought was pretty special. We followed that up with a walk, hand-in-hand, in the neighborhood before supper.
And what did I do for ME this week???
I realized Wednesday night that I was down to only a handful of diapers. (I’ve never let that happen before, but I guess my Internal Diaper Sensor is off with the drastic reduction in what we’re using…WOO HOO!!!) I made a quick run to Target, and I decided to treat myself to some new note cards. I promptly pulled into Panera, got a yummy vanilla latte in one of their awesome oversized mugs, and sat down to catch up on a little bit of correspondence. I hadn’t enjoyed any coffee-shop alone time in a while, and it sure was nice.
1) The girls’ sense of humor is really starting to shine. I called Baby B out on her (very serious) “thinking face”, and Baby A started trying to make a similar face. Not only was it hilarious how she contorted her mouth, but she knew she was being funny...and milked it for all it was worth!
2) While we were in the car one afternoon this week, Baby A asked to sing “Baa, Baa Black Sheep.” I told them we should sing it together…and everyone chimed in…to an almost-identifiable tune! The girls have known the words to that song for months, as they like to say it in nursery rhyme format, but this was the best “trio” I’ve heard to date!
3) On a related note, the girls have told me a couple of times, “I love Mommy to sing.” I don’t think I’ve EVER been complimented on my singing before…but I will take it!!! Although it does make me worry a bit if they’re showing early signs of tone-deafness???
4) This is not exactly mannerly, but when Baby B is really enjoying something she’s eating, she’s started making this “Mmmmm…mmmmm…mmmmm” noise. We’ll probably have to break the habit at some point, but for now I’m just enjoying her enjoyment.
5) Thursday we had The Perfect Afternoon. I needed to run a quick errand downtown. I put the girls in their stroller, we took care of our business, and I promptly headed to the coffee shop. I bought a kiddie scoop of ice cream (which is still huge!), and we headed to the fountain to share it. The weather was perfect…65 degrees, sunny, and no wind. The girls were tickled to see the fountain running after it had been turned off for the winter. We got to see people walking their dogs, and even a guy with a cockatiel (???), which they thought was pretty special. We followed that up with a walk, hand-in-hand, in the neighborhood before supper.
And what did I do for ME this week???
I realized Wednesday night that I was down to only a handful of diapers. (I’ve never let that happen before, but I guess my Internal Diaper Sensor is off with the drastic reduction in what we’re using…WOO HOO!!!) I made a quick run to Target, and I decided to treat myself to some new note cards. I promptly pulled into Panera, got a yummy vanilla latte in one of their awesome oversized mugs, and sat down to catch up on a little bit of correspondence. I hadn’t enjoyed any coffee-shop alone time in a while, and it sure was nice.
May 5, 2011
Mother's Day is Bittersweet
My mom died 12 years ago, when I was 22. Her death followed an illness of several years. While it wasn’t altogether unexpected, losing my mom was still the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to deal with.
Four or five years ago, if you’d asked me if things had gotten easier with the passage of time, I would have said yes. Of course the first few days and weeks were excruciating, and the first year was very difficult...but over time, although I always missed her terribly, my heart began to heal.
When our girls were born, of course I experienced a plethora of emotions, as any new mom surely does. What I didn’t know to expect, though, was how my heart would almost physically ache at times for my own mother.
I hurt for three generations of women…
…my mom, who will never hold her grandchildren, or see her daughter as she once was herself…
…my girls, who will never know their grandmother, will never hear her laugh or sit in her lap and hear stories about their own mom…
…and for me.
Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could share their silly anecdotes with her, knowing they would be the light of her life…or that I don’t wish I could ask her advice, or know what I did at their age.
And so, for that reason, Mother’s Day is bittersweet.
It’s definitely more sweet than bitter…as I have my precious babies to hold, and through whom I can occasionally glimpse my own mom…but what I wouldn’t give to be able to share it with her here on earth.
***
I write this post not to garner sympathy, but as what I hope will be a tiny reminder to cherish those important in our lives.
And, just as important, I write this as a reminder to take care of ourselves. For the sake of our own sons and daughters, we must put ourselves on the priority list.
I’m eating (mostly) right and exercising (mostly) regularly, and I’m taking time to schedule annual doctor visits…
…as I hope that when my girls are my age, when they will likely have families of their own, that Mother’s Day will be nothing but sweet for them.
Four or five years ago, if you’d asked me if things had gotten easier with the passage of time, I would have said yes. Of course the first few days and weeks were excruciating, and the first year was very difficult...but over time, although I always missed her terribly, my heart began to heal.
When our girls were born, of course I experienced a plethora of emotions, as any new mom surely does. What I didn’t know to expect, though, was how my heart would almost physically ache at times for my own mother.
I hurt for three generations of women…
…my mom, who will never hold her grandchildren, or see her daughter as she once was herself…
…my girls, who will never know their grandmother, will never hear her laugh or sit in her lap and hear stories about their own mom…
…and for me.
Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could share their silly anecdotes with her, knowing they would be the light of her life…or that I don’t wish I could ask her advice, or know what I did at their age.
And so, for that reason, Mother’s Day is bittersweet.
It’s definitely more sweet than bitter…as I have my precious babies to hold, and through whom I can occasionally glimpse my own mom…but what I wouldn’t give to be able to share it with her here on earth.
***
I write this post not to garner sympathy, but as what I hope will be a tiny reminder to cherish those important in our lives.
And, just as important, I write this as a reminder to take care of ourselves. For the sake of our own sons and daughters, we must put ourselves on the priority list.
I’m eating (mostly) right and exercising (mostly) regularly, and I’m taking time to schedule annual doctor visits…
…as I hope that when my girls are my age, when they will likely have families of their own, that Mother’s Day will be nothing but sweet for them.
May 4, 2011
Say What?!!!
Over the past couple of months, the girls’ communication skills have exploded. They truly keep me in stitches! Here are a few excerpts of conversation from our house this week…
Baby B is starting to talk like a miniature adult. She even has a very serious “thinking face” when she’s trying to recall something, and she nods her head in agreement with herself when she’s being emphatic. And in true Southern fashion, she likes to talk with her hands. Put those things together, and I can hardly keep a straight face most of the time.
She was sitting on the couch by herself, looking at a book with lots of animal illustrations. I heard her say, “Flamingo…that’s a type of bird,” just as pretty as you please.
She regularly says things like, “I’m enjoying my fruit,” and, “That’s very helpful.” How old is this kid, anyway???
And it was too funny when I told the girls the titles of a couple of books I had selected on Tuesday afternoon. B said, “Those are good choices.”
Both girls are very compassionate.
I pointed out a seemingly angry dog in one of our stories. Baby B said, “He’s mad. Somebody needs to give him a hug.” And Baby A added, “Ooooooooooh, tiny little puppy…I loooooove you,” as she lay her face to the page of the book.
And Baby A never fails to crack me up with her observative and often passionate commentary.
On Sunday I put the girls in halter shirts with little sweaters for a quick trip to the bookstore. When we got home, Baby A immediately peeled off her sweater. Referring to the halter straps, she said, “[Baby A] wearing some bra.” HA!
On Monday, the girls were enjoying some graham crackers that they hadn’t had in a couple of weeks. Baby A looked closely at the bunny shape and said, “I love you, bunny!”…right before she gobbled it up. (That was actually a little disturbing!)
And I couldn’t close without a little potty commentary. (C’mon…it’s my life right now!)
Of course Baby A has to inspect all her work. After one particularly productive session, she said, “Looks like an airplane!” And several times, I’ve heard her say, “I love you, stinkies!” (Again…perhaps a little disturbing!)
Disturbing or not, these little girlies sure make me smile!
Baby B is starting to talk like a miniature adult. She even has a very serious “thinking face” when she’s trying to recall something, and she nods her head in agreement with herself when she’s being emphatic. And in true Southern fashion, she likes to talk with her hands. Put those things together, and I can hardly keep a straight face most of the time.
She was sitting on the couch by herself, looking at a book with lots of animal illustrations. I heard her say, “Flamingo…that’s a type of bird,” just as pretty as you please.
She regularly says things like, “I’m enjoying my fruit,” and, “That’s very helpful.” How old is this kid, anyway???
And it was too funny when I told the girls the titles of a couple of books I had selected on Tuesday afternoon. B said, “Those are good choices.”
Both girls are very compassionate.
I pointed out a seemingly angry dog in one of our stories. Baby B said, “He’s mad. Somebody needs to give him a hug.” And Baby A added, “Ooooooooooh, tiny little puppy…I loooooove you,” as she lay her face to the page of the book.
And Baby A never fails to crack me up with her observative and often passionate commentary.
On Sunday I put the girls in halter shirts with little sweaters for a quick trip to the bookstore. When we got home, Baby A immediately peeled off her sweater. Referring to the halter straps, she said, “[Baby A] wearing some bra.” HA!
On Monday, the girls were enjoying some graham crackers that they hadn’t had in a couple of weeks. Baby A looked closely at the bunny shape and said, “I love you, bunny!”…right before she gobbled it up. (That was actually a little disturbing!)
And I couldn’t close without a little potty commentary. (C’mon…it’s my life right now!)
Of course Baby A has to inspect all her work. After one particularly productive session, she said, “Looks like an airplane!” And several times, I’ve heard her say, “I love you, stinkies!” (Again…perhaps a little disturbing!)
Disturbing or not, these little girlies sure make me smile!
May 3, 2011
The Potty-Capades: A Silver Lining
It was just over a year ago that it happened…
…I put the girls down for a nap, wearing the cutest little t-shirts, zipped snugly into their comfy blankets…
…when, an hour and a half later, I returned to find Baby A wide awake, smeared in poop.
I vowed never again to put the girls to bed in anything other than a onesie.
Baby A must have discovered the fun of opening the tape tabs on her diapers, as she seemed to take lots of joy in taking them off. The Onesie Rule quickly extended beyond the crib.
For the past year, Baby A has rarely been without a onesie. The girls wore lots of bubble suits last summer. And this winter, even if they were in shirts and pants, they were likely wearing a short-sleeved undershirt with snaps.
Baby A went through a couple of phases where she would wiggle out of her onesies in true Houdini fashion…getting her arms out, and pulling it down to step out of it…without ever unsnapping it. Thankfully, these phases were relatively short-lived.
A couple of weeks ago, Baby A figured out how to unsnap her onesies…and then, of course, she’d take her diaper off…and that ultimately marked the beginning of our potty-training adventures.
As of last Saturday, the girls have worn t-shirts a pants or shorts every day…actually, the easier to get off and on, the better.
It’s been freeing.
It’s so much easier to get the girls dressed, and they look so stinkin’ cute in their big girl outfits!
And, as I was shopping for some knit separates this weekend, it dawned on me that the girls deserve something extra-special to mark this momentous occasion…their first pair of pajamas!
I bought the girls the cutest little pajama sets. And if Spring will ever decide to stick around for a while, I can’t wait to see them dressed for bed.
And yes, for any of you doing the math, I very quickly sunk the next three months’ diaper savings into some new wardrobe items for the girls…but I just couldn’t resist.
This is one silver lining I hadn’t even considered as part of the Potty-Capades, but this is one surprise that this mama is loving!
…I put the girls down for a nap, wearing the cutest little t-shirts, zipped snugly into their comfy blankets…
…when, an hour and a half later, I returned to find Baby A wide awake, smeared in poop.
I vowed never again to put the girls to bed in anything other than a onesie.
Baby A must have discovered the fun of opening the tape tabs on her diapers, as she seemed to take lots of joy in taking them off. The Onesie Rule quickly extended beyond the crib.
For the past year, Baby A has rarely been without a onesie. The girls wore lots of bubble suits last summer. And this winter, even if they were in shirts and pants, they were likely wearing a short-sleeved undershirt with snaps.
Baby A went through a couple of phases where she would wiggle out of her onesies in true Houdini fashion…getting her arms out, and pulling it down to step out of it…without ever unsnapping it. Thankfully, these phases were relatively short-lived.
A couple of weeks ago, Baby A figured out how to unsnap her onesies…and then, of course, she’d take her diaper off…and that ultimately marked the beginning of our potty-training adventures.
As of last Saturday, the girls have worn t-shirts a pants or shorts every day…actually, the easier to get off and on, the better.
It’s been freeing.
It’s so much easier to get the girls dressed, and they look so stinkin’ cute in their big girl outfits!
And, as I was shopping for some knit separates this weekend, it dawned on me that the girls deserve something extra-special to mark this momentous occasion…their first pair of pajamas!
I bought the girls the cutest little pajama sets. And if Spring will ever decide to stick around for a while, I can’t wait to see them dressed for bed.
And yes, for any of you doing the math, I very quickly sunk the next three months’ diaper savings into some new wardrobe items for the girls…but I just couldn’t resist.
This is one silver lining I hadn’t even considered as part of the Potty-Capades, but this is one surprise that this mama is loving!
May 2, 2011
The Potty-Capades: Day 10
[Warning: This is a long post. I’m writing this to document how things have progressed over the past week…knowing it will bring a smile to reflect on this milestone one day…and hoping it might be useful to someone else, too.]
Today is Baby A’s tenth day wearing undies. And while last week was a real exercise in patience and stamina (such that I truly deserved that Dairy Queen Blizzard on Thursday!), I’m very happy to report that we’re doing pretty well!
My Methodology
Baby A has been wearing undies exclusively during the daytime. I’ve put her in a diaper for naptime and at night.
We have a potty chair in the kitchen, just adjacent to the den / playroom. While I was originally anti-potty chair, this solution ultimately made sense for us, as it keeps Baby A’s potty activities close to her sister playing in the den. That has made potty time less about “escaping” the playroom, and allows me to stay much closer to Baby B.
We have a potty ring on the upstairs toilet, which Baby A uses just before nap / bedtime, and immediately when she gets up. She uses both the potty chair and potty ring just fine, and I’m very thankful for her “flexibility”.
The first two or three days, I would ask Baby A at least every hour if she needed to sit on the potty. She rarely answered no (if ever), and each time she would at least do a little something. After a few days, I decided to play things a little more by ear to allow her to adjust to telling me if she needed to go. She has done really well with this arrangement. Now the only time I ask her is if it’s been more than an hour and a half since she last went…particularly if she’s really engaged in playing.
I dug out some lap pads from the girls’ infant days. I put one in each of their high chairs and car seats, and called them “cushions…to make them more comfortable”. We haven’t had any accidents in either place, but I thought that was a good safeguard in case we did.
The Mess
You (may) know me…I’m a germophobe! But I am pleasantly surprised – and so thankful! – to report that the mess has been nominal.
On Day 2, we had two accidents that required spot-cleaning the carpet, but it wasn’t bad at all. We’ve had a few other slip-ups, but nothing outside the confines of the undies / knit pants.
The last few accidents were of the stinky variety, but I hope I have gotten a handle on those. (We’re hoping for Day 3 of no accidents today!) I think Baby A was being impatient, not willing to see things through to the end of a given initiative. I was able to give her some extra encouragement during one of her efforts to get her to finish everything on the potty…and she’s done a great job since then.
The Marathon
I reported last week that Baby A was giving me quite the workout, breaking each potty session into six or eight “deliveries”…each of which (in her mind) warranted a trip from the potty chair to the toilet to empty the little cup.
I tried several approaches…telling her we wouldn’t empty the cup until it was full to a certain point…encouraging her to make “friends” for her stinkies. (Sorry for the visual…I was desperate!) There were a handful of times that I downright refused to empty three drops of urine from the little cup, but otherwise I basically went with it, hoping she’d eventually wear herself out.
She’s not exactly where I’d like her to be, but we’re making progress. I’d say we’re down from six or eight mini-sessions, to sometimes as few as two.
I’ve tried to remain as calm and collected as possible, being very matter-of-fact about the entire deal. I am generally upbeat and encouraging, but I only do jumping jacks for her when she makes a lot at once.
Sleeping
Earlier in the week I also reported that Baby A was waking up in the mornings and from her naps, screaming. That only lasted four or five days. I finally thought to tell her it’s OK if she makes tee-tee or stinkies in her diaper while she sleeps, and this seems to have done the trick. Prior to me giving her that reassurance, I am guessing she may have been upset with herself for waking up wet.
In Hindsight
I did not implement any kind of reward system, and I stand by that. Because Baby B is nowhere near ready to train, I just couldn’t see giving a reward to Baby A – whether it be a marshmallow or a sticker chart – and not give anything to her sister…or to allow her sister to share in the rewards “just because”.
I originally made a huge deal out of getting to flush the potty, positioning that as the “reward”. Of course she wanted to flush after every little tinkle, which was not a good idea (resulting in Hubby having to make a trip home from work one day to un-stop the toilet...oops!).
When I introduced the potty chair, I made a huge deal out of her getting to help Mommy empty the little cup. And I think that led to a lot of our back-and-forth challenges.
As I’ve been in wear-her-down mode, I haven’t thought precisely about what I would have done in hindsight, but I just throw these cautions out…to think through whatever kind of “reward” system you put in place (as if we can climb inside a two-year old’s mind and imagine how crafty she might get…HA!).
The Twin Factor
Honestly, I think the biggest challenge over the past couple of weeks has been juggling the very different needs of the girls. I have no choice but to respond to Baby A’s needs to sit on the potty, and this means Baby B’s wants have been pushed aside a lot.
For the most part, Baby B has been an incredible trooper. She’s played well by herself when her sister is otherwise occupied, and when she’s gotten upset, she’s gotten over it quickly.
The worst has been that she – understandably – wants to be able to see what her sister (and her mommy) are doing at all times. Having the potty chair adjacent to the den solves a big part of the equation…but Baby B has often been caught standing on the back of an armchair in order to glimpse us going down the hall to the bathroom.
It absolutely petrifies me when she does that.
Under other circumstances I would take more direct action (time-out), but I feel like I know why’s she’s doing that…and I don’t want her to somehow think I’m trying to exclude her from the goings-on in the house.
I’ve tried to strike some type of compromise, in that I told her she can sit on the back of the chair, not stand. I don’t like that, either, but it seems to have helped the situation a little bit.
Fast Food (and Usually Cold, Too)
One of the goofier challenges of the past couple of weeks is that I have to be very attune to Baby A’s needs, and be able to respond to them very quickly. While there have been a couple of times she’s had to wait for one reason or another – and she did so very well – when she says she needs to go, I want her to be able to go.
If I’m in the middle of slicing strawberries, I can drop things pretty quickly to be able to assist Baby A. But I’ve taken to preparing the girls’ breakfast ahead of them getting up…as I can’t risk an unplanned interlude while I’m cooking eggs.
It seems like Baby A often needs to potty just before supper, so we’ve all eaten a lot of lukewarm meals.
The Confinement
I’ve long read that when you potty train, you should pick a time in which you know you can stay home for a week…so I was prepared for a period of confinement.
On Tuesday, Day 4 of the Potty-Capades, I chanced a short walk in the neighborhood. I waited until Baby A had used the potty, and I quickly put on socks and ushered us out the door. She did a great job, and that fresh air never smelled so sweet!
On Thursday, Day 6, I again took the girls for a walk. We were about three blocks from home when Baby A told me she needed to sit on the potty. I told her we were heading home, and to wait as best she could. She was the one who kept stopping to look at squirrels and dogs, despite my urging, but she made it home just fine. She was content with me taking her shoes off, and then she made a beeline for the potty! (It was actually pretty cute!)
On Saturday, a full week into our training, we chanced our first trip in the car. Immediately after nap, after Baby A sat on the potty, we loaded up and went for some frozen yogurt. We were gone less than 45 minutes, and again, she did great. She didn’t even need to use the potty for another hour after we got home.
I imagine we’ll try to work in a few short outings over the next couple of weeks. I’m not sure how things will progress from there, but I am looking forward to a field trip to Target at some point!
Stay tuned tomorrow for the exciting conclusion to this post, “The Silver Lining”.
Today is Baby A’s tenth day wearing undies. And while last week was a real exercise in patience and stamina (such that I truly deserved that Dairy Queen Blizzard on Thursday!), I’m very happy to report that we’re doing pretty well!
My Methodology
Baby A has been wearing undies exclusively during the daytime. I’ve put her in a diaper for naptime and at night.
We have a potty chair in the kitchen, just adjacent to the den / playroom. While I was originally anti-potty chair, this solution ultimately made sense for us, as it keeps Baby A’s potty activities close to her sister playing in the den. That has made potty time less about “escaping” the playroom, and allows me to stay much closer to Baby B.
We have a potty ring on the upstairs toilet, which Baby A uses just before nap / bedtime, and immediately when she gets up. She uses both the potty chair and potty ring just fine, and I’m very thankful for her “flexibility”.
The first two or three days, I would ask Baby A at least every hour if she needed to sit on the potty. She rarely answered no (if ever), and each time she would at least do a little something. After a few days, I decided to play things a little more by ear to allow her to adjust to telling me if she needed to go. She has done really well with this arrangement. Now the only time I ask her is if it’s been more than an hour and a half since she last went…particularly if she’s really engaged in playing.
I dug out some lap pads from the girls’ infant days. I put one in each of their high chairs and car seats, and called them “cushions…to make them more comfortable”. We haven’t had any accidents in either place, but I thought that was a good safeguard in case we did.
The Mess
You (may) know me…I’m a germophobe! But I am pleasantly surprised – and so thankful! – to report that the mess has been nominal.
On Day 2, we had two accidents that required spot-cleaning the carpet, but it wasn’t bad at all. We’ve had a few other slip-ups, but nothing outside the confines of the undies / knit pants.
The last few accidents were of the stinky variety, but I hope I have gotten a handle on those. (We’re hoping for Day 3 of no accidents today!) I think Baby A was being impatient, not willing to see things through to the end of a given initiative. I was able to give her some extra encouragement during one of her efforts to get her to finish everything on the potty…and she’s done a great job since then.
The Marathon
I reported last week that Baby A was giving me quite the workout, breaking each potty session into six or eight “deliveries”…each of which (in her mind) warranted a trip from the potty chair to the toilet to empty the little cup.
I tried several approaches…telling her we wouldn’t empty the cup until it was full to a certain point…encouraging her to make “friends” for her stinkies. (Sorry for the visual…I was desperate!) There were a handful of times that I downright refused to empty three drops of urine from the little cup, but otherwise I basically went with it, hoping she’d eventually wear herself out.
She’s not exactly where I’d like her to be, but we’re making progress. I’d say we’re down from six or eight mini-sessions, to sometimes as few as two.
I’ve tried to remain as calm and collected as possible, being very matter-of-fact about the entire deal. I am generally upbeat and encouraging, but I only do jumping jacks for her when she makes a lot at once.
Sleeping
Earlier in the week I also reported that Baby A was waking up in the mornings and from her naps, screaming. That only lasted four or five days. I finally thought to tell her it’s OK if she makes tee-tee or stinkies in her diaper while she sleeps, and this seems to have done the trick. Prior to me giving her that reassurance, I am guessing she may have been upset with herself for waking up wet.
In Hindsight
I did not implement any kind of reward system, and I stand by that. Because Baby B is nowhere near ready to train, I just couldn’t see giving a reward to Baby A – whether it be a marshmallow or a sticker chart – and not give anything to her sister…or to allow her sister to share in the rewards “just because”.
I originally made a huge deal out of getting to flush the potty, positioning that as the “reward”. Of course she wanted to flush after every little tinkle, which was not a good idea (resulting in Hubby having to make a trip home from work one day to un-stop the toilet...oops!).
When I introduced the potty chair, I made a huge deal out of her getting to help Mommy empty the little cup. And I think that led to a lot of our back-and-forth challenges.
As I’ve been in wear-her-down mode, I haven’t thought precisely about what I would have done in hindsight, but I just throw these cautions out…to think through whatever kind of “reward” system you put in place (as if we can climb inside a two-year old’s mind and imagine how crafty she might get…HA!).
The Twin Factor
Honestly, I think the biggest challenge over the past couple of weeks has been juggling the very different needs of the girls. I have no choice but to respond to Baby A’s needs to sit on the potty, and this means Baby B’s wants have been pushed aside a lot.
For the most part, Baby B has been an incredible trooper. She’s played well by herself when her sister is otherwise occupied, and when she’s gotten upset, she’s gotten over it quickly.
The worst has been that she – understandably – wants to be able to see what her sister (and her mommy) are doing at all times. Having the potty chair adjacent to the den solves a big part of the equation…but Baby B has often been caught standing on the back of an armchair in order to glimpse us going down the hall to the bathroom.
It absolutely petrifies me when she does that.
Under other circumstances I would take more direct action (time-out), but I feel like I know why’s she’s doing that…and I don’t want her to somehow think I’m trying to exclude her from the goings-on in the house.
I’ve tried to strike some type of compromise, in that I told her she can sit on the back of the chair, not stand. I don’t like that, either, but it seems to have helped the situation a little bit.
Fast Food (and Usually Cold, Too)
One of the goofier challenges of the past couple of weeks is that I have to be very attune to Baby A’s needs, and be able to respond to them very quickly. While there have been a couple of times she’s had to wait for one reason or another – and she did so very well – when she says she needs to go, I want her to be able to go.
If I’m in the middle of slicing strawberries, I can drop things pretty quickly to be able to assist Baby A. But I’ve taken to preparing the girls’ breakfast ahead of them getting up…as I can’t risk an unplanned interlude while I’m cooking eggs.
It seems like Baby A often needs to potty just before supper, so we’ve all eaten a lot of lukewarm meals.
The Confinement
I’ve long read that when you potty train, you should pick a time in which you know you can stay home for a week…so I was prepared for a period of confinement.
On Tuesday, Day 4 of the Potty-Capades, I chanced a short walk in the neighborhood. I waited until Baby A had used the potty, and I quickly put on socks and ushered us out the door. She did a great job, and that fresh air never smelled so sweet!
On Thursday, Day 6, I again took the girls for a walk. We were about three blocks from home when Baby A told me she needed to sit on the potty. I told her we were heading home, and to wait as best she could. She was the one who kept stopping to look at squirrels and dogs, despite my urging, but she made it home just fine. She was content with me taking her shoes off, and then she made a beeline for the potty! (It was actually pretty cute!)
On Saturday, a full week into our training, we chanced our first trip in the car. Immediately after nap, after Baby A sat on the potty, we loaded up and went for some frozen yogurt. We were gone less than 45 minutes, and again, she did great. She didn’t even need to use the potty for another hour after we got home.
I imagine we’ll try to work in a few short outings over the next couple of weeks. I’m not sure how things will progress from there, but I am looking forward to a field trip to Target at some point!
Stay tuned tomorrow for the exciting conclusion to this post, “The Silver Lining”.
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